Signs...

As Ottawa’s own Five Man Electrical Band said:

“Sign sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don’t do that can’t you read the sign?”

Four or more times a week, I like to go the Peterborough Sport and Wellness Centre to put my maturing body through an often interesting, always invigorating work out, invariably in the facility’s pool – thanks Melissa, Terry, Jodie, Jonathan et al!

This is a facility that is pretty much adjacent to Fleming College. IMany students take advantage of the centre and all it has to offer. Regrettably, some appear to have little regard for paying members, staff, equipment and the building itself.

And that, dear readers, is where we begin.

Posted throughout are many signs asking everyone to comply with some pretty straightforward "guidelines". For example, “This is a fragrance free facility”; “Please refrain from using cell phones in the dressing rooms”; “Youths under 16 years of age should use the family change area”; “Remove all outer footwear before entering dressing rooms, work out areas, etc.”; and, “Use a padlock if using a locker”. I’m paraphrasing, but you get the general idea.

The other evening as I was changing for an early evening class, a few lockers from me were a couple of young lads. Their age? I have no idea; but to me, they appeared to be of similar vintage to a nephew. So for the sake of argument, let’s say they were 15. One was chatting on his cell phone to someone (who may have had some kind of pedigree since he was referred to as “Dawg”) while pulling on an unlaced pair of wet, grubby work boots that were leaving slush prints on the dressing room floor. His compadré, who may possibly have been suffering from a medical malady, likely gastronomic in nature (his chum was calling him “Arsehole”), was spraying clouds of some pungent scent into the air and the lungs of anyone in the immediate vicinity (collateral damage?), and leapt into said cloud to get full advantage of the olfactory benefits of this made-exclusively-for-posers product. You have to love this; work out, presumably sweat, change back into street clothes – and all without the apparent benefit of a shower.

Naturally, there was not a lock in sight – that crumpled sign was in Arsehole’s hand.