Definitely a guy thing...

There has been a small amount of unusual activity around our house these past few days. Believe me, this is nothing compared to what it will escalate next weekend.

You see TLATO (Sheryl) will be flying to Florida the following Monday morning for the next 10 or so days so preparations are being made now for the grand event.

A spare bedroom has been converted into a holding area. Summer clothes are being looked out and occasionally paraded for a puzzled audience of cats and the dog. Not for me, you understand. Always wishing a quiet life, my standard response would likely be, “Yes, that looks great you should take it with”. Of course, I may never have raised my eyes from a computer monitor, Sports Illustrated or the newspaper to do so, but usually the above response is the safest course of action.

As always happens when any undertaking like this is about to occur, a neatly typed checklist is prepared and taped to a door. Various pieces of luggage are retrieved from the basement and lined up like disparate soldiers on parade.

For at least a couple of weeks beforehand, more attention than usual is paid to the intake of food – and fluids. To me, it’s barely enough to sustain life, never mind maintaining a specific caloric intake. However, I’m told, repeatedly I might add, it’s important to look good in a bathing suit (one of about six or seven that will no doubt be packed) while lounging poolside reading the latest John Grisham tome.

And let’s not forget this exchange: “I can’t eat that – it’s fattening.”

“It’s a carrot. A raw freakin’ carrot”

“Yes, but it’s a root vegetable and there are more calories…”

“Than what – paper?”

For days, I swear Sheryl displays talents rarely seen in mere mortals: she morphs into the Project Manager from hell. No detail is too small; organization skills increase exponentially. Orders are barked out – I often look at the dog and ask, “Is that one for you or me?” “Where’s the iron?” “Have you seen my off-blue beach wrap?” “Why is that cat lying on my clean clothes?”

A quick glance into the holding area was indeed, for me quite the eye opener. I saw neat rows of piles of clothes, organized by layer, colour and yes, style. I saw shoes of every description laid out – I swear some of which I have never seen before. And purses; don’t get me started on the purses…

Anyway, it’s all starting to come together now, I’m told. There will be a dry run packing this weekend to determine the appropriate piece(s) of luggage – and then, once that decision has been made, everything will be washed, ironed and folded all over again.

When we go away, I pack the night before. A suitcase is opened and a couple of drawers are emptied into it – voila! Anything I have forgotten (and there is always something) I can always buy at our destination. A half hour – tops as opposed to the military maneuvers that occur for weeks when it’s only Sheryl traveling.

By the way, has anyone seen my toothbrush?

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