A small piece of Ontario history...

... is no more. Late Saturday evening April 18, 2009, the Red Barn Theatre at Jackson's Point, burned to the ground. And on the eve of it's 60th anniversary, too.

Fortunately no one was hurt and somehow, the intent is to press on with the milestone celebrations.

Little wings...

The other evening, while Sheryl and her friend Nancy were still down in Florida, Nancy's husband, Bob and I went out for a messy, non-wife-sanctioned dinner. Wings!

We headed over to Wild Wing on Tower Hill Road and ordered beers and wings - is there a better food pairing out there?

Bob's choice was relatively tame, your basic BBQ honey-garlic variety. Me, on the other hand, ordered the Hometown Hottie - a four fire, Thai inspired offering.

Not bad.

While there, I could not help but notice how some folks eat wings. I tend to strip the bones clean like a pirhana (as does TLATO) - you should see what she does to a lobster - it's not a pretty sight. Some patrons eat them like an ear of corn, pinkies extended high and leave the best parts behind. When wings were introduced in Buffalo, New York back in 1964 as bar food and they cost $0.05 per pound, that approach is understandable. Today, with 20 medium-sized wings going for around $19, how can you NOT eat every last piece?

It's the right thing to do!

Weather-related...

Today, from my office window looking out onto our normally reasonably docile lake, there are white caps. The weather forecast says there are winds up to 45kmh coming from the South East. Seems stronger than that to me.

I have given up counting the number of "thudsplats" I have heard this morning as misguided birds foraging for food this spring day get caught in the gusts and hit our very large glass windows. Four out of five cats are running around eagerly (Merlin being the exception), taking great pleasure in the misfortunes of birds of all sizes careening off the glass to the ground below, and as only cats can, seemingly pointing and gloating (that would be, specifically, the Dude) at the stunned birds that attempt to catch their breath and senses after hitting windows at a velocity greater than the wind speed.

The strong winds are also bringing chunks of ice from water much further north as they, the lake 'icebergs', prepare for their final melt in our slightly warmer lake waters.

Isn’t nature grand?

Meanwhile, back at the doctor's office...

Continuing on from the tale of the dairy-challenged receptionist... Sitting in the doctor's office after tests were conducted and the doctor is talking with me while dictating his notes.

I have to admit I first thought that my ears were playing tricks. The doctor was spelling out what seemed like every sixth or so word. Granted, some were medical terminology, so mistakes are expected. But as I tuned in, many of the words were those used in every day conversation by the majority of people.

Politely I inquired what he was doing.

I'll paraphrase: "I've got all this high-priced university degreed help out there, and do you think any one of them can actually spell? A university degree and they can't even spell."

Ordinarily, I end posts with a witticism or something. Unable to here. It's really quite sad, isn't it?

Say what?... part two

I'm telling you, sometimes this stuff truly does write itself. The following is just so preposterous, how could I possibly make this up?

While at my allergists this afternoon, I was waiting in the waiting room, reading a magazine and dying to scratch a powerful itch.

The relative silence of the day was interrupted by the young lady answering the telephone.

"Hold on a minute... I'll ask."

At this point she turned to her co-workers and the following six words tripped out of her mouth making her an instant shoo-in for, at the every least, honorable mention in the March 2009 Darwin Awards...

"Is coconut milk a dairy product?"

There was silence for a few seconds. Another patient, rolling his eyes, wondered aloud if this individual had ever attempted to milk a coconut.

Believe it or not, she then answered the individual who was holding the line. "No one seems too sure. I'll ask the Doctor and call you back."

Somewhere a village is mourning the loss of their very own idiot and I suspect there may be an advertisement posted in the local paper's "Help Wanted" section - (decidedly) unskilled labour.

I have a witness to this event, a young lady who was just as incredulous as me, and who happens to be a client. Regretfully, we were both in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Tick, tock...

That sound you hear is the incessant noise from a clock counting down.

I'm referring specifically to the now world-renowned Octomon, Nadya Suleman and her 15 minutes of fame.

This will be the longest 15 minutes. Ever.

With 14 kids under the age of seven, there will be oh-so-many milestones and events over the ensuing years that will ensure this individual remains in someone's spotlight until the final sibling is laid to rest -- which, one truly hopes will be many years from now.

In fact, last week, an offer was made to our collagen-enhanced, unemployed single Mom to star in an adult entertainment movie. Yes, that's right, folks. Porn.

Surprised? Don't be. Personally I think that offers like that are the tips of the proverbial iceberg.

I have my own thoughts on what some of them might be and will share at a later date. Care to add your $ 0.02 worth?

And before I forget, is it just me, but when I look at the photograph I've attached to this post, is it possible that Octomom and Jar Jar Binks may have been separated at birth? You be the judge.

And another thing; how many of us know of other unemployed and single Mothers of 14 children who regularly visit a nail salon and frequent Starbucks? I'll make it easier; how many of you know any unemployed single Moms with any number of kids that have similar habits? And meanwhile her parents are about to lose the house sweet Nadya and her soccer team plus three substitutes presently live.

Somewhere in the background I can hear Edgar Winter and his band playing one of their best known tunes, "Free Ride"...

A time and a place ... for everything...

Just the other day in Kettering, Ohio, police charged a woman who was allegedly driving her vehicle while using her cell phone and simultaneously breast-feeding her child (if ever their was a true "Octomom" reference, this might be it).

The woman was observed by a concerned citizen who alerted the authorities who in turn tracked her down using her vehicle's license plate number.

When confronted by officers, she allegedly stated that she was breast-feeding and would not let her child go hungry. Fair enough - except she was driving a car at the time and must have had the child on her lap, not strapped in, never mind in a car seat.

The woman was charged.

Now, before any of you get all hot and bothered about breast-feeding in public, know this. The charge was not for that act. It was for child endangerment.

The woman faces up to 180 days in jail and a $1,800 fine if convicted of the misdemeanor.

Remember this: it's not about the boob, stupid; it's about the stupid boob.